Relationship between mother and daughter

Ruthie's upbringing

Your exam question asks you to focus on the relationship between mother and daughter from Abigail Ulman's short story, “Frida Boyelski’s Shiva”.

The opening paragraph tells us that Frida Boyelski always wanted a daughter (l. 1). It is later suggested that it was a greater wish than having a better life for herself in Australia or getting married: “She had moved here so she could meet a man, have a daughter, and give that daughter the opportunities she herself never had.” (ll. 35-36).

This, in turn, could indicate that the stereotypically feminine gifts that Frida has given her daughter over the years – the pink bike, the fairy princess cake, the dollhouse, etc. - are things Frida wished she had as a girl. Frida also remembers how Ruthie rejected those gifts – however, it is never mentioned that she tried to give Ruthie different gifts. Moreover, it is suggested that she ignored Ruthie’s wish to get a BMX racer and got her a pink bike instead: “ ‘I told you,’ she’d cried to Frida, ‘I want a BMX racer.’ ” (l. 62). This suggests that, despite her best intentions (giving her daughter what she did not have), Frida imposed her wishes on Ruthie and ignored the fact that Ruthie did not conform to her expectations of how a girl should behave and what she should wish for. However, it is clear that Frida loves Ruthie and never intended to ...